I was rushing around(as usual) getting ready for work this morning. 40 had left the news on television so I caught some of it. Why don't I watch the news on my own you ask? It is so depressing and weird. An example of some shit you ask again? Sure....

Parents are now getting their kids tongues stretched so they can pronounce their "L" and "R" sounds correctly. Weird!

I attended some speech classes as a lass. (yes, me of all people) I could however pronounce both L and R. It was S and Z that got me. How could it not though, I only had like 2 adult teeth. If I could not pronounce an L or R, I would be shit out of luck considering those are 2 of the 6 letters of my first name. Then what would they do to me? Beat me? Remove my tongue? I don't even want to know. I may be old fashioned but why cant kids just go to speech class? Oh, I get it, we now have a new way for the doctors to make money. Great! They need more money and I hear they have nothing better to do then play tug- of-war with a 6 year old tongue anyhow.


Anyway, speech class is traumatic enough for kids. They are pulled out of class to sit with dumb kids and learn how to talk for an hour a day. Everyone just sits there too embarassed to speak cause they are made to think that they suck. You just sit there twirling your hair wondering how dumb all these people are and if they really are dumb at all. But that is not traumatic enough in 2004. Lets rip their tongues out of their head till they get it right. "That'll learn em' "

At least the youth of America will be able to say my name with their new found L and R sounds. They will also be able to say "I Love getting my tongue Ripped out of my head you Rim Licker." Well not right away anyway. At least a few weeks after they recover from a painful, harsh surgery.