Miss Understanding One of my clients just called in. I sold him some drug tests that come with plastic keys you have to insert on the sides of the cups. As it turns out the man thought the keys were the wrong size. My co-worker transferred the call to me and was sitting in the cubicle next to me listening. This is what he heard... Me- "Hi. How are you? That's good." "Oh." "Ok." "Yes?" "I know it is big but you kind of have to just slide it in real far. It will fit if you get...

Today is Wednesday. We are having a representative of the oral drug tests in today. I call him the oral guy cause he gives us oral. Oral drug tests, that is. Anyhow, we only have 3 cubicles and only 2 salesmen in our office(one of them being me) and one lonely empty cubicle we needed to fill. My boss says three heads are better than two so we don't look like losers. Don't get me wrong we are losers, KEY WORDS ARE "LOOK LIKE." Today though we are not. So today, my man friend is coming in to p...

You know, everyone is pissing and whining cause they don't have a job. Why? Look at the people who are pissing and whining. Are they weird? Or if you are normal it may make you feel better to know your competition... In the past few weeks we had 1. over 10 no- shows (that I know about) maybe more. I am not always here. I am often very ill. 2. A guy actually did show up, late, with 2 ties on. Not 1 tie, but 2. They were both around his neck. So one was not around his cock, but it was still wei...

I may be dating myself here (not in the physical sense), but has anyone else ever subscribed to Sweet Pickles as a child? Did you beg your mothers for these dumb ass books? Has anyone ever waited for the orange bird to show up in a green bus with all his fuzzy friends? Well, he was supposed to bring books for you to read since reading is fundamental. (I really did not care about that part. ) Anyhow it was false advertisement to say the least. The books came by mail and not directly from Sweet Pi...

I was crying the whole was to work. I am sooooo sick. I felt like a little kid who refused to go to school. Then I call the fuckin doctor to get an appointment when I get here...... I have been on hold for 30 minutes so far. Really now, I could be dead by the time they pick up the phone. I think it is a sinus infection. It feels like someone ran over my head with a truck but did not have the decency to kill me. I hate doctors! I don't think they would piss on me if I were on fire.

I heard that the first piss you take of the day is really good for your face. Your body has been at rest and all the nutrients are in your first piss in the morning so it is good to wipe it on your skin. Granted I have never done this and probably never will, I am sure there are some people who do. An ex-boyfriend I once had told me this but I think he just wanted me to piss on my face after I broke up with him. (and he wasn't even German) He was vegan though and he got mad when I used Noxem...