I was rushing around(as usual) getting ready for work this morning. 40 had left the news on television so I caught some of it. Why don't I watch the news on my own you ask? It is so depressing and weird. An example of some shit you ask again? Sure.... Parents are now getting their kids tongues stretched so they can pronounce their "L" and "R" sounds correctly. Weird! I attended some speech classes as a lass. (yes, me of all people) I could however pronounce both L and R. It was S and Z tha...

Some people hate these lame ass, trick ass trends. Let me be the first to say, I am one of them. Some of the trends I do not think twice about but they annoy me just the same. Examples of such shit are Von Dutch hats, or any kind of trucker hat on girls and guys, camoflage pants with stilettos for girls, (it may be cool on guys) and people matching each other. Why do Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have to wear the same exact shirt, or same Von Dutch hat at the same time. Do they not know it ...

You know, everyone is pissing and whining cause they don't have a job. Why? Look at the people who are pissing and whining. Are they weird? Or if you are normal it may make you feel better to know your competition... In the past few weeks we had 1. over 10 no- shows (that I know about) maybe more. I am not always here. I am often very ill. 2. A guy actually did show up, late, with 2 ties on. Not 1 tie, but 2. They were both around his neck. So one was not around his cock, but it was still wei...

When I was in grammer school I saw this move/ some Japanese short story/ It was hands down the coolest thing I have ever seen. There is this Japanese married couple. It took place so long ago that in the area they were in there were no mirrors. Since they did not know about mirrors this one couple had this misunderstanding when one finally surfaced. The man found a jewlery box with a small mirror in it. He became very obsessed with the box and looking in the mirror. He would spend most of hi...

I may be dating myself here (not in the physical sense), but has anyone else ever subscribed to Sweet Pickles as a child? Did you beg your mothers for these dumb ass books? Has anyone ever waited for the orange bird to show up in a green bus with all his fuzzy friends? Well, he was supposed to bring books for you to read since reading is fundamental. (I really did not care about that part. ) Anyhow it was false advertisement to say the least. The books came by mail and not directly from Sweet Pi...

I was crying the whole was to work. I am sooooo sick. I felt like a little kid who refused to go to school. Then I call the fuckin doctor to get an appointment when I get here...... I have been on hold for 30 minutes so far. Really now, I could be dead by the time they pick up the phone. I think it is a sinus infection. It feels like someone ran over my head with a truck but did not have the decency to kill me. I hate doctors! I don't think they would piss on me if I were on fire.

Jenny Lewis I was thinking of Jenny Lewis today. You may remember her from an older movie she starred in when she was really young called Troup Beverly Hills. She also starred in Foxfire as Angelina Jolies love interest, Sweet Temptation(a Lifetime Original Movie) with Beverly DeAngelo and many more movies. In Sweet Temptation she is a frantic teenager who ends up sleeping with her moms (Beverly DeAngelo) fiance (some guy from Melrose Place). There is this one scene where she freaks out cau...

Today is Wednesday. We are having a representative of the oral drug tests in today. I call him the oral guy cause he gives us oral. Oral drug tests, that is. Anyhow, we only have 3 cubicles and only 2 salesmen in our office(one of them being me) and one lonely empty cubicle we needed to fill. My boss says three heads are better than two so we don't look like losers. Don't get me wrong we are losers, KEY WORDS ARE "LOOK LIKE." Today though we are not. So today, my man friend is coming in to p...

I heard that the first piss you take of the day is really good for your face. Your body has been at rest and all the nutrients are in your first piss in the morning so it is good to wipe it on your skin. Granted I have never done this and probably never will, I am sure there are some people who do. An ex-boyfriend I once had told me this but I think he just wanted me to piss on my face after I broke up with him. (and he wasn't even German) He was vegan though and he got mad when I used Noxem...

Miss Understanding One of my clients just called in. I sold him some drug tests that come with plastic keys you have to insert on the sides of the cups. As it turns out the man thought the keys were the wrong size. My co-worker transferred the call to me and was sitting in the cubicle next to me listening. This is what he heard... Me- "Hi. How are you? That's good." "Oh." "Ok." "Yes?" "I know it is big but you kind of have to just slide it in real far. It will fit if you get...

Hot Or Not The man friend, lets call him 400, and I are thinking about writing a screen play about some guy obsessed with the hot or not web site. I got 400 into this site because I check my score very often (too often). In case you are unfamiliar with this site, let me fill you in..... What you do is post a picture of yourself and let people rate you from 1-10 (1 being not and 10 being hot). In case you have never seen me, I am at least a 2. Yea? no. You are correct. I am a 10 hands down. I ...

I realized something weird today. A couple offices down from mine there is a cat woman. She is completely obsessed with these stary cats. When I started working at my office four months ago there were two strays which became ten which later became twenty. Anyway, every morning at 8 am her car pulls up and those cats are on that shit like white on rice. They sleep in and around her car all day long. .She leaves the damn window open so the cats can hang out in her car if they want. They won't g...

Let me stary by saying I love the Lifetime Network. Their slogan "Television for Women" is completely false though. I think it is the station for women to get men into watching t.v.with them. It is the station for women to prove that emo movies are good movies. It is the station for women to demand control of the televison. Who they hell needs to watch grown sweaty men fight over a ball anyway? Is that still considered manly? The men that I have made watch this station, when they quie...

I recently located to Los Angeles and I realized a few things... I am the only person without a blog. I used to think this was a good thing when I though a blog was a scarey monster. I since realized what a blog is (sort of) so I though to myself, "I must have one." It is not a 400 pound six armed hairy mammal that wants to suck off your limbs and eat your head. I still do not know how it got its name or if it is an acronym. I do not think it is an acronym because it would be capitaliz...